Starting to Think

I'm starting to think about different stuff that let's say, suits me.
Here are the two that I'm kinda engaged into at the moment.

I'm starting to think about putting some summer-y jewel-ish coloured nail polish.

This colour is my favourite. ♡

I'm also starting to think that braids fit me.

A simple plat my friend did.

The "Katniss Everdeen Braid." Love this braid. I wish though my hair has a different colour for this braid to be visibly seen.

And this braid which I did myself *proud one here!* is the fish braid. Likewise, I wish my hair has a different shade.

I have a verrrr long hair and this is the only time that I made something out of it. Since it's the holidays, I started to try something new -- I google most of the time some cute hairstyle, simple buns, even the hard ones. I just hope things can work for me. SUMMER! =)))

Holidays and Goals

It’s the holidays!

I don’t think holidays need to be memorable but things that happened to me during the past holidays seem to be something I could not forget.

I had my very first panic attack. It was during my Year 11 summer holidays. I was a lazy bum and that probably happened to be the reason why I had it. I was just on my bed the whole time watching TV series. The second week (as far as I remember), I got a massive headache. I think I took 3 Panadols that day ’cause that headache won’t leave me alone. Then I felt like my legs are not okay, I couldn’t even walk! My muscles are like lousy and *adjective like that*. The night when I had it, I felt like I’m gonna die, like I don’t wanna sleep because I won’t live another life tomorrow. It sucked.  That was my story. And after that event, I decided to be healthy *OWWWWWW*. I usually walk nowadays and eat a balanced diet.

And for this holidays, I just thought, I need to accomplish stuff (ugh, like what I always plan (eg. Finish my Physics ERT *jokes, it didn’t happen, I crammed*)) But since I’m near finishing school and I’m not that busy to not accomplish anything, I should set a plan for these weeks.

1. Be healthy. Be healthy. Be healthy.

I know people think that I’m skinny. I’m quite am, but hey, I have fat legs and big stomach. Sucks, I know. I bloat A LOT. So maybe, losing 5 kgs. is an okay plan.

2. Decide. Decide. Decide.

I’m still not decided of what I want to do in the future or let’s say for the rest of my life — my university course. I have some preference that I think, I’m 90% into it but that is still not definite. Pros, cons, whatevs, I have to figure it out.

3. Books. Books. Books.

As I’ve been usually saying, I’m engaging myself to books now. So in this holiday, my target is to read at least 3 books. Yaay! Sounds fun fun fun.

4. Photographs and all.

My life, photographs, I need them!

5. Blog. Blog. Blog.

I need someone, something if you like to share my thoughts with. I know people are going to judge but whatevs! Libertyyyyyyy!

2-Day Mixed Proc and Prod

Exams to come next week! Goodness, I'm still not sure if my review was enough to pass my first one tomorrow. Joookes, it seems like I'm just procrastinating the whole time. Hehe. So whilst I was procrastinating this afternoon, I took photos (This is mixed with vanity, too). I'm planning to put this up on my new blog and this should be my first post. Here are some of the photos I've taken. Hehe.

Forgive to fugly photographs.

Okay, I'm just gonna leave it there. No explicit fugly face for this post.

And crap, why am I feeling this chest pain since? Ohmy. :(

Before Anything Else

Feeling ko talaga hindi ako makakapag-aral ng mabuti hangga't hindi ko nailalabas 'to eh.

Naiinis ako sobra at dahil sa sobrang inis ko, naiiyak na lang ako. Bakit kaya 'pag ako, iba 'yung trato? 'Pag sa iba, mabuti namang tao. Ganito ba talaga ako? Anong meron? Pinipilit ko naman lahat para maging mabuting anak eh, bakit ba lagi akong nagaganito? Ako 'yung laging mali, ako tanga, ako suwail, ako gago, ako na lahat. Ni wala ngang nakitang maganda sa'kin kahit okay naman ako sa Acads, marami naman akong naachieve kahit sila 'yung laging dahilan kung bakit hindi 'yun natutuloy. Ano kayang mangyayari sa buhay ko na? Minsan parang gusto ko na lang na mawala dito sa mundo pero masama 'yun, alam ko. Sana lang maisip nila 'yung halaga ko, na kahit ganito naman nakakaramdam din ako. Paulit ulit ko namang sinasabi na masakit sa'kin kapag lagi niyang pinapamukha sa'kin na wala siyang pakialam sa'kin ah. Sobrang sakit. At sa tuwing laging may sinasabi sa'kin na hindi maganda na kahit pa sabihin mong pabiro lang, ang sakit sakit. Bakit hindi niya maisip 'yun? :(