Pre-winter

I couldn't believe it's winter already! It still feels a little warm inside our house but I'm quite liking it. The weather today is more like I-want-to-stay-in-bed or 'books + (maybe) tea' type of weather.

So, what is on? What is up?

Have I mentioned before that I've started college to learn Design? If not, then this is the time for it!

Yes, I'm doing something related with Design. I wasn't too interested with it before because I'm more of an Arts and Science person but as I get into it, I felt like it is interesting.

In this program, a graduate would be able to produce a good logo or an ad or just a plain illustration but that's not just about it - this program also permits a person to speak what's inside his/her head. As said by one of my lecturers, you don't have to be creative because when you're inside design, it will just come out naturally. You'll work hard for it of course, but the main thing is you tend to think, to explore, to believe and to create something.

It is good, I reckon.

I was scared to go in this program because I don't know how to draw! But my lecturers told me to not worry about it because everything that I need to do is in the computer itself. Okay, that is cool. No drawings!

Even though I've started the course, I'm still excited of the next lessons.

I'll keep everyone update.

Bye!

I'm lazy.

I know, I am! And it's annoying me. Haha!
What has been happening to me?

1.) I'm gonna study a certificate in a college this year. It's part-time. I'm a bit scared but it should be fine, I suppose.

2.) I chose Communications as my degree. It's not final (WHAT IS FINAL TO ME?) but I think it is for me. I just have to take time and do stuff in it and see how I goes.

3.) I'm 18 now! I'm happy. I think it was quite a tradition that people change or think like they're different when they turn 18. I'm not really sure if I'm under a transition or I'm still living like I was 16, 17. I'm happy though about it because I can do stuff I couldn't do when I was younger.

4.) I'm gonna bleach my hair again. The first time I've tried it with a friend days ago, it didn't quite work, although, I liked the outcome. Next week, I'm bleaching it again and apply colour purple.

5.) Magazines attract me so much especially my favourite "Frankie."

I'm really looking forward to meeting new people and doing so much this year.

Bye! :)

Changes: Bring it on, 2013!

It’s the New Year (Like 7 days ago but still…) I’m not going to talk about my resolution or whatever you may call it (I don’t usually follow them anyway). Instead, I am going enumerate the (hopefully) changes that I am planning to do this 2013!

First on the list and the most that I prioritise is.. I’m not going to let anything or anyone ‘cause me mental distress again (University stuff is exempted). But also, I won’t stress myself even more even though the point when I’m fully breaking down comes.

Physical Changes!

Changing the colour of my hair, I think I’ve announced this one to everybody. Other teenagers are like, I’m gonna bleach my hair today ‘cause I feel like it and I am like: this tremendous event needs a 3-month preparation!

Changing style, maybe? Old old me, can’t make it to the trend. I’ll try to mix and match, be myself with what I wear and make it possible to have awesome attire EVERYDAY.

Nails! Update them as soon as one gets broken.

Be more healthy, of course. Being fit and fab is something that everyone wants!

Update this blog more, of course. And finally, keep awesome people and things coming.

Thinking History - University Dilemma

I wish I was good at everything. That's absolutely impossible, not just for me but for everyone else (but some people just excel on everything, I don't get that but there's a few). I wish I was like that so I could major to whatever I want. Yes. University dilemmas - why? :(

I think this blog post will contain pretty much what I've decided to do and my thinking history about everything in University. I have been accepted to my 2nd choice university. Yaaaap, SECOND. :( Then I'm gonna wait and see how my application to the university I've been dreaming of go.

I chose the double degree as my first preference. I'm pretty happy with it, however, WHAT TO MAJOR? Even though I wish to be a journalist, I don't think I have the capacity and patience to write, write and write. I'm bad at that. You can ask my English teacher, I am always in that 'just passed' mark. Why? Oh, why? I can take Mass Communication but the thing is, it's fixed mixed with Journalism. Knowing that, I took the alternative. Not actually an alternative but it appears to be one. FILM. Hey, it's still Media! Howevssss, I still think that I'm going to gain more success in Journ and MassComm. because it's such a diverse course.

If I don't get in to my first choice, then just take whatever that's already there - Nursing/Behavioural Science. Then maybe, explore for quite a bit? If I don't like it, why not move? It can't hurt and besides, why won't I risk one or two years if I know that this journey is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life?
I need to pray.

Starting to Think

I'm starting to think about different stuff that let's say, suits me.
Here are the two that I'm kinda engaged into at the moment.

I'm starting to think about putting some summer-y jewel-ish coloured nail polish.

This colour is my favourite. ♡

I'm also starting to think that braids fit me.

A simple plat my friend did.

The "Katniss Everdeen Braid." Love this braid. I wish though my hair has a different colour for this braid to be visibly seen.

And this braid which I did myself *proud one here!* is the fish braid. Likewise, I wish my hair has a different shade.

I have a verrrr long hair and this is the only time that I made something out of it. Since it's the holidays, I started to try something new -- I google most of the time some cute hairstyle, simple buns, even the hard ones. I just hope things can work for me. SUMMER! =)))

Holidays and Goals

It’s the holidays!

I don’t think holidays need to be memorable but things that happened to me during the past holidays seem to be something I could not forget.

I had my very first panic attack. It was during my Year 11 summer holidays. I was a lazy bum and that probably happened to be the reason why I had it. I was just on my bed the whole time watching TV series. The second week (as far as I remember), I got a massive headache. I think I took 3 Panadols that day ’cause that headache won’t leave me alone. Then I felt like my legs are not okay, I couldn’t even walk! My muscles are like lousy and *adjective like that*. The night when I had it, I felt like I’m gonna die, like I don’t wanna sleep because I won’t live another life tomorrow. It sucked.  That was my story. And after that event, I decided to be healthy *OWWWWWW*. I usually walk nowadays and eat a balanced diet.

And for this holidays, I just thought, I need to accomplish stuff (ugh, like what I always plan (eg. Finish my Physics ERT *jokes, it didn’t happen, I crammed*)) But since I’m near finishing school and I’m not that busy to not accomplish anything, I should set a plan for these weeks.

1. Be healthy. Be healthy. Be healthy.

I know people think that I’m skinny. I’m quite am, but hey, I have fat legs and big stomach. Sucks, I know. I bloat A LOT. So maybe, losing 5 kgs. is an okay plan.

2. Decide. Decide. Decide.

I’m still not decided of what I want to do in the future or let’s say for the rest of my life — my university course. I have some preference that I think, I’m 90% into it but that is still not definite. Pros, cons, whatevs, I have to figure it out.

3. Books. Books. Books.

As I’ve been usually saying, I’m engaging myself to books now. So in this holiday, my target is to read at least 3 books. Yaay! Sounds fun fun fun.

4. Photographs and all.

My life, photographs, I need them!

5. Blog. Blog. Blog.

I need someone, something if you like to share my thoughts with. I know people are going to judge but whatevs! Libertyyyyyyy!

Aspire!

It has been a long day. Well, it's actually not but it seems to be. I was just taking a break from doing my school stuff. And I'm pretty sure, it will be a pretty long night. It always is, by the way and to be honest.

I was walking with two of my friends a while ago and we were just talking about our future, our dreams, what do we want for our kids (though I don't want to be married for now neither on the future but we'll see) and just mainly about the future. One said, he doesn't want himself to just be something. And he doesn't want his kids to just be someone who took apprenticeship or something below that. No one wants to. I was just wondering, why do people settle for something for an "Yeah, I'll be alright with working full time on the department store." NO. Is it laziness? Is it because they don't believe themseleves? Or is that because striving hard is just too hard? I don't know but all I know is that, I'm challenged. I'm challenged, I'm having a hard time but I'm striving hard, very hard not to mention. Why? Not only for the reason that I want to be a professional or I want to be known as "The Tine" but because I want to prove to myself that I conquered the whole bloody 4 or maybe 5 years OH NO, 16 years in total and it's all paying. I'M STRONG. I WILL BE.

Drift

I hate the cliché quote that people just come and go in your life. I don't think they just come and go. I think they come and choose whether they will stay or go. I can't be sure with any of what I just said. Quite ironic, isn't it? But I guess if I leave a person's life, I leave it for a reason.

Damn, whilst writing this post, I just realised, many people apparently left me. They did! And for what reason? I don't know. Maybe they got sick of me, they got bored, they never wanted me, they used me, who knows? But I still feel no regrets for having them. They have become one of the best bits of my life. But if ever we become close again, I'll just let myself go with the flow but never treat them as if we were still that old close friends. Actually, that's one of my diseases. I couldn't let go of a friendship easily. But I think I'm healing now. I am now good at neglecting people who walked pass my life.

I'd like to thank though those who left me. You guys made me realise the real friendship and how it has to have the actual worth. Thank you for letting me learn! I will miss you all.

Just began.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of another semester (another term for mental destitution) for me.
And today marks the beginning of my SNS hiatus. Not that I'm not gonna update everything but I'm gonna be active updating my blogs.


I just thought some people are obnoxious. I'm not a hater, I think I'm feeling a bit cranky today. But oh well, what can I do, this is how the coordination of my mind and heart works.

That's the bad side. Happy to announce but my motivation for studying is quite coming back! I have a week to finish my Physics assessment and this whole term (3 months?) to prove myself. From tomorrow until August, I'll have 3 very important test: QCS, UMAT and my license. I really hope I could fit everything in. No, I will fit and do my best in everything.

'Til soon!

I’m off to read “Tirra Lirra by the River” (ugh) but then I decided to hop in to my blog for a while.

CHANGE — I know it’s a simple word.

If we commit mistakes, we always say that I’m or she’s gonna or he’ll change. But then after all, do we really change for the better? or just change?

I don’t know! Perhaps depending on ones environment.

When we grow up (literally and mentally), don’t we change? Maybe that’s the change others are looking for. But I’m afraid to say that some hasn’t yet. They’re still stuck with the madness of childhood or probably still can’t because of some “special” reason (I know a person who is like this but at the same time subtly brags about her being a childlike in the family because she’s the only blaaah or people are gonna get mad at him/her or that she has no priority but studies {as if the last thing is true. Makes me wanna say what the $%^&*()}).

This idea just came up to me while talking to a friend. And once and for all, I’ll say this: MY BLOG POSTS ABOUT HATRED ARE NOT BECAUSE I AM INSECURE.

I don’t know how other people can handle immaturity.

Maybe I should talk further about this topic as soon as I reach that level of adulthood and update myself of what are the changes I’ve had in myself. But for now, I can’t explain exactly what is going on in my mind. I’m sorry.